STRESS!

I have been SUPER stressed out the last few days... I don't know if it's stress due to o the fact that I might not have enough money to get home when I am supposed to... or to the fact that I don't know if I'm making the right decisions (my heart and my brain are telling me two different things!) or that fact that there are still a LOT of important people not really talking to me much... I'm not sure what it is. There are probably a million other things it could also be... So my mood lately has been downer.

I work 9 shifts in the next 7 days... I have one day off and work 3 doubles. HOPEFULLY I can make really good money! Fingers crossed! Fourth of July weekend, which is usually one of my FAVORITE holidays. Actually, next to Christmas it is my fave... I will be working. Instead of BBQ'N or having a gigantic slip and slide and drinking PBR, I will be working working working. I work Friday, Saturday, and a double on Sunday which will probably result in somewhere around 12 hours. GOOD TIMES. Not. Hopefully the weekend shall go by fast!

HOWEVER, on the 8th we are going to see Zac Brown Band! I am SUPER excited for that! We are taking one of Jamie's old vans that fits 12 people! There are 8 of us going and then two 18 year old kids driving us! The following Saturday AFTER that I get to go to a huge wedding that is going to have 350+ people... it's at a small lake and EVERYONE is camping out. That is supposed to be the night I head back to Wa.

There are still a lot of unknown things right now in my life. Should I stay in NY or should I come home? I still don't have a definite job. Should I sell my car if I can at least get enough from it to pay off my loan? Should I call people and apologize? Alls I know is that I am homesick. I miss MY towns. I miss my Grandma, my family. I missed my little cousins grad party which kills me. I'm missing the 3rd of July part on Big Lake. I miss my Dad and my Brother. I miss my life. I know, this too shall pass... But I am still very very homesick.

Havana is becoming MORE AND MORE attached to me. She use to be a major Mama's girl and Dada's girl but she want's her "T" a lot more now. I love it! I love that little girl so much and she completely melts my heart. She is SO sweet and so cute and smart! It is going to absolutely break my heart to leave her and the thought of doing so brings tears to my eyes!

I have some pictures to post! I will try and post them tonight if not tonight then... probably not until the end of the week!

I hope everyone is well!

Cheers!
~T