An Average Night at the Guild Residence

*** Pics ***

STRESS!

I have been SUPER stressed out the last few days... I don't know if it's stress due to o the fact that I might not have enough money to get home when I am supposed to... or to the fact that I don't know if I'm making the right decisions (my heart and my brain are telling me two different things!) or that fact that there are still a LOT of important people not really talking to me much... I'm not sure what it is. There are probably a million other things it could also be... So my mood lately has been downer.

I work 9 shifts in the next 7 days... I have one day off and work 3 doubles. HOPEFULLY I can make really good money! Fingers crossed! Fourth of July weekend, which is usually one of my FAVORITE holidays. Actually, next to Christmas it is my fave... I will be working. Instead of BBQ'N or having a gigantic slip and slide and drinking PBR, I will be working working working. I work Friday, Saturday, and a double on Sunday which will probably result in somewhere around 12 hours. GOOD TIMES. Not. Hopefully the weekend shall go by fast!

HOWEVER, on the 8th we are going to see Zac Brown Band! I am SUPER excited for that! We are taking one of Jamie's old vans that fits 12 people! There are 8 of us going and then two 18 year old kids driving us! The following Saturday AFTER that I get to go to a huge wedding that is going to have 350+ people... it's at a small lake and EVERYONE is camping out. That is supposed to be the night I head back to Wa.

There are still a lot of unknown things right now in my life. Should I stay in NY or should I come home? I still don't have a definite job. Should I sell my car if I can at least get enough from it to pay off my loan? Should I call people and apologize? Alls I know is that I am homesick. I miss MY towns. I miss my Grandma, my family. I missed my little cousins grad party which kills me. I'm missing the 3rd of July part on Big Lake. I miss my Dad and my Brother. I miss my life. I know, this too shall pass... But I am still very very homesick.

Havana is becoming MORE AND MORE attached to me. She use to be a major Mama's girl and Dada's girl but she want's her "T" a lot more now. I love it! I love that little girl so much and she completely melts my heart. She is SO sweet and so cute and smart! It is going to absolutely break my heart to leave her and the thought of doing so brings tears to my eyes!

I have some pictures to post! I will try and post them tonight if not tonight then... probably not until the end of the week!

I hope everyone is well!

Cheers!
~T

"The first step to getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are!"

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift of life is yours; it is an amazing journey; an you alone are responsible for the quality of it!" ~ Dan Zadra

"We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient characteristic of life is its urgency, "here and now" with out possible postponement. Life is fired at us point- blank."
~Jose Ortega y Gasset

"There are only two things you HAVE to do in life. You "have to" die. And you "have to" live until you die. You make up the rest." ~Marilyn Grey

"People who lvoe us for what we are, not for what we have done, are precious support when we're trying to and be more." ~Peter McWilliams

"There are many compliments that may come to an individual in the course of a lifetime, but there is no higher tribute than to be loved by those who know us best.." ~Dr. Dale E. Turner

Today

The last week has been CRAZY busy!

I...

Went to the cardboard boat races!

Yes... real boats made of cardboat!

Worked a lot!

Went swimming in a pond in the middle

of this GORGEOUS green fields at sunset!

Ponds here are really lakes.

Hung out on the boat on the lake.

And worked a lot.

I hate waiting tables!!! I would

rather poke my eyeball out

with a pencil then go to work waiting

tables most days! Ah!

I am leaving to come home in 19 days!

I am SUPER excited to come home.

I am SUPER sad to leave NY and Ally and Jamie and Rain.

And incredibly scared to drive across the country.

Alone.

Well... with Lucy of course! But she is a faster

runner then me!

If I could find a stable, full time job here,

I think I would stay.

I am doing REALLY well and I am happy!

The divorce papers showed up yesterday.

I just have to go pick them up! Sign on

the dotted line and send them on back.

I miss my Dad and my Brother a TON!

Hope everyone is WELL!

Love~ T

Fathers Day

Most people who use to read my old blog or know me, know that when I talk about my Dad, it is usually some where along the lines of being my hero, being one of the most amazing men I have ever known, and an extremely selfless, fun guy.

We have had our differences, and he hasn't always agreed with my decisions in life. Despite these differences, I still think he is an amazing man, human being, and Father. He doesn't read this blog so I'm not going to tell him Happy Father's Day on here, but I hope he still knows I love him.

I hope everyone out there is having an amazing Father's Day! I am off to a long double shift day at work! I am going to try and post new pictures tomorrow!

Cheers!
~T

Question

Is there such thing as unconditional support? Or do people ONLY support you when you're making decisions they agree with? Then once you make a decision they don't agree with they stop?

So, so, so many life lessons to learn!

Firsts!

Yesterday was a crazy day of firsts for me!!!! Well, only two but two huge ones!!!!

The first "first"... Ally and Jamie and I were down at the lake at his parents' house having a lazy Sunday when Jamie's friend called and told us to come up to the winery he works at and visit. Sooo... off we go! I have only been to one winery in Washington so I don't know if they are all the same, but all of the wineries here (and there are a bazillion) are all in old and new barns and really really cool! Anyways, everyone who knows me knows that I do not like wine but Jamie promised we could also stop by the new brewery so of course I agreed. When we got there my curiousity got the best of me so I tried a sip of Jamies wine... AND... and... IT WAS GOOD! I liked it!!! I tried about 7 wines at this first winery called "Rasta Ranch" and I liked about 4 or 5 of them!!!!!! So then we decided to stop at ANOTHER winery called "Hazelitts"... which is a bigger, more popular one. At this winery you can try 5 so I tried 5 and I liked 3 of them! AND even bougght a bottle! WOW, right?! I know, I could hardly believe it! But... the wine was not like ANY of the wine I have EVER tasted in Washington, and trust me... hanging out with the Beck's for almost 12 years... I have tried MANY sips of wine!! So I don't know if it's just NY or what but I am DEFINITELY bringing home some bottles!

The second first is not as exciting... more.... strange and crazy. Last night Havana and I and Lucy were laying on the living room floor watching "Harry and the Hendersons". Lucy and I were kind of rough housing around. I was messing around with her ears and kind of had her in a headlock. Well, I did something she didn't like and she turned around and snipped at me and as soon as I let go she lunged at my face and bit me. This all happened in a matter of probably 2 seconds, but it was scary. One of her k9 teeth hit right at the base of my nostril and the other one just at the top of my lip. The one that hit by my lip pierced pretty good and it was pretty bloody. This morning it had a little puss oozing out of it. Hopefully it doesn't scar. It was completely my fault though.

Anyways,... here's some pics from the weekend!

If Happiness grew on trees, everyone could be happy, but would everyone chose to be happy?

I have had my ups and downs, as everyone knows... But today I am...

SOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have my goal of how much money I need to make

in the next month and one day...

My car is getting serviced in a week and a half...

I am going to be incredibly sad to leave NY and

Allyson and Havana and Jamie

and Buster and Kahlua...

The five that have quickly became

my family...

BUT...

I am very excited to get back to a career,

start saving money and move

on to the next stage of my life. Whatever

it may be.

My goals in the next 2 years...

1.) Be well established in a career again

2.) Save money to eventually by a house (maybe

in the next 5 yrs or so)

3.) Start volunteering on a weekly basis

4.) Help more people

5.) Become a better friend and family member

6.) Live without regrets

I am headed home to Washington on July 11th... Can't wait

to see everyone! ~T

Tasha Tudor

There is this family that lives about 15 minutes from here named the Schwiezer's. They own Schwiezer Aircrafts and there is an air field named after them, etc... They are SUCH nice people! I am pretty sure they build and fix gliders... But don't quote me on that!

Anyways, Bonnie is who let us come over and visit her chickens, and goats, and bunny, and pigs, and cows! While she was giving us a tour of her house she mentioned she had heard I have a corgi. Of course, I get excited when anyone is interested in Corgi's! Then she started telling me about his lady from Vermont named Tasha Tudor. And wow... This lady is such an inspiration. Bonnie gave me a book on Tasha's life and she is so inspiring!!!

Ever since Tasha was a little girl she knew she always wanted to live on a secluded where she could surround herself with a garden, a variet of household pets and barnyard animals, and write and illistrate children's books. And that's exactly what she did!

Tasha lived by herself in a house her Son had built for her. She dressed in OLD clothes from the 1800's and lived simply. She lit her house by candles and lanterns and fed her dogs home made soup and food that SHE prepared herself. She didn't plant her flowers in any certain pattern, she just liked LOTS of them. She had tea parties with kids and encouraged them to dress in long dresses as well!

How does this have to do with corgi's you ask? SHE HAD CORGI'S! All of her pictures have Corgi's in them! And, in her book it says that she could have up to 12-14 corgi's at anytime! WOW! She also has a make up place in her books called "Corgiville"!

One passage from her book stuck out to me about the corgi. It says:

"There is no other dog that can compare to a corgi. They're the epitome of beauty." ..." They are such characters~ a mixture of a dog and a cat, I think. They especially don't like to be scolded in public. They talk back; they growl and show their teeth and pretend they're frightfully savage. However, they never criticize. You're always beautiful to them."

This specific passage makes me laugh, because Lucy HATES to be scolded and will ALWAYS show her teeth and growl when you do so... But I honestly believe she would NEVER bite or harm one of her humans. And she hasn't yet.

A few other passages from her book that really hit home are:

"What you want is entirely a state of mind. I think happiness is a state of mind."

"People have a rose- colored lens when they look at me. They don't realize I'm human. They don't see the real me. As Mark Twain said, we are like the moon, we all have our dark side that we never show to anybody." ~ I have felt this way MANY times!!!

And this one shows how simply and true she was...

"I'm perfectly content. I have no other desires than to live right here with my dogs and my goats and my birds. I think I have done a good job of life, but I have no message to give anyone. If I do have a philosophy, it is one best expressed by Henry David Thoreau: "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a sucess unexpected in common hours". That is my credo. It is absolutely true. It is my whole life summed up."

The whole book is completely inspiring to me. And Not just becasue of the corgi's! Anyone who is interested, I would HIGHLY reccommend googling her or checking out her book! She has passed away now, though.

Weekend Review

Hello Friends!!!!

I had SUCH a great weekend! Friday night I worked. We had live music out by the water so Ally and I got to serve the tables down there... which meant we got to be in the sunshine AND listen to some rockin' oldies all at the same time! I also took a few tables inside the restaurant SO I made pretty good money!

On Saturday... Ally and Jamie didn't really feel like doing much and I didn't feel like sitting around the house another day! There was races up at the Watkin's Glen race track (where Nascar comes to in August). The race is called The Six at the Glen. It's pretty much just a six hour race. The Speed channel was covering the race live and Snow, Doc and Taber (the boys who get my Supercross tickets and work for Supercross each year) were working for a guy named Marty, who is a big wig at Speed and knows the boys because Speed also covers Supercross. (Did you get all that???). Anyways, Marty called Jamie and told him that if I wanted to come down just to come to the TV compound and I had credentials waiting for me. Wow... credentials. Just the cool name was enough to make me go. So OFF I went. By my lonesome to whatever the heck a TV compound is!

As soon as I got there Marty (who is older and kind of looks like a scruffy bum) took me on a tour of all of the Speed TV trailers. Wow... That's all I could say when I was done. The first HUGE, mondo- sized trailer was the audio. Every sound from all 12- cameras that were on the track goes through this ONE trailer to three guys. It was insane. According to him, he can tell what camera the sound is coming from by which side or corner of the trailer it's coming from. Too much for me!

The SECOND trailer was the TV trailer... This trailer was even bigger!!! When we walked in at the front there was about.... I don't even know how many little TVs... Probably 15 across... and maybe 4 rows. And then each section showed a different type. And one TV showed actually what was on TV at that second. The producer, director, assistant producer and one other person ( I can't remember what that one was) all four sat in the first row. They were talking and barking orders and it was nuts. The only girl (which was the assistant producer) even counted down back from the break! I thought that was just on TV! Then there was a second row of two guys each of who had 4 TV's in front of them... I can't remember what they did but then there was even a third row of two guys, each of which had one TV, and I do remember the third row guys were the ones in charge of the scrolling order at the top. That was the coolest trailer.

We went to two more trailers after that... They were kind of a blur. I know one guy did the sound mixing and muted certain cameras and turned up whichever camera was on TV... and the last trailer... I honestly don't remember what that one did. It was a LOT of info!

The Doc (who's name is really Nick) took me all around the track. BUT... before we left, we were driving out through the gate and Marty yells "HEY DOCK!" So, Dock stops the golf cart, turns around and says "What?" RIGHT at that split second, Marty turned a Fire Hose hook up on ME! It sat up on a spicet, probably 5 feet tall, came at me full blown, and completely DRENCHED ME! It literally looked like I had just jumped in the lake. Not to mention, that thing had some power so it kind of hurt! (I got him back, we went over to say by to him, and I hid behind a bush with the hose, when he walked out with his lugguge I ran behind him and soaked him with the garden hose... Sweatshirt and jeans and all!) Anyways, Doc to me up to the media booth and just everywhere. The track is insane! In the middle is like a little/ huge town! People are just camped out everywhere, there is a beer garden, a little eating area, the huge semi- truck row. People bring bikes to pedal around and everyone is playing volleyball, beer pong, or parked on the side of the track enjoying the race. Jimmy Johnson was co-racing one car which I thought was pretty awesome!!!!

On Monday, Ally and Havana and Beck (Ally's mother in law) went to a ladie's farm. Bonnie Schwiezer (this family is incredible... See next post, above) and visited all of the little farm animals. Havana was IN LOVE with the animals! After that we had a picnic! SO, I had a really good weekend! Yay! Love you all!

~T

Everyone in life either chooses to be happy, or chooses to not be. I choose to be Happy.

The last few days I have been working quite a bit. A double and then two long shifts! BUT, it's worth it! The tips are definitely adding up. SO are my blisters from my work shoes though! All well! It's worth it!!!!

Today we are going up to the Watkins Glen race track... I haven't ever been so I'm SUPER excited to see some RACES! YEAH! In August Nascar comes to this track even. SO it's KIND of a big deal! Each week, also, there is different car clubs that race there. This last week was Porsche, or however you spell it. So when they come in to town HUGE semi- trucks hauling the cars come rolling in one by one. It's actually pretty cool! And then at night, all the drivers and pit crew come in to the restaurant so we get to hear all the stories. I would LOVE to go see one of those, but I think today is something different.

The weather today is cloudy and it's suppose to storm. Kind of reminds me of Washington, but 10x more humid!

I am still doing REALLY well! I am LOVING spending so much time with my best friend! We live together, cook together, clean together, WORK together, hang out after work together and still NEVER get tired of each other. We never fight or argue. I think EVERYONE should have one friend like that in life! (I happen to have more then 1, but there are a lot of people I couldn't hang out with EVERY day!). And I am LOVING getting to spend so much time with little Rain. She is seriously one of the cutest, most precious little girls! I Love her!

Lucy is doing MUCh better! She hasn't started any fights lately (knock on wood!) and she just has been hanging out and enjoying the sunshine! Yesterady just her and I went down to the Watkins Glen waterfall and she was running around and swimming like a little puppy!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Cheers!
~T

...Life keeps getting better and better everday...